I have a lot to say about the things to watch out for when dating, but I'd like to start off with some positivity. We can get so bogged down and activated by always being on guard that we miss the green flags. Everything looks like a threat when the world is on fire, after all.
So here goes, 3 of my personal GREEN FLAGS:
1. Mental Flexibility
The ability to hear new information, process that information, and change your stance is definitely a good thing. Your initial stance does not have to become cemented, especially when presented with information that changes the context or adds nuances that you hadn't considered before. Intellectual humility is one of the greenest flags and it is super sexy.
"I am wiser than this man; for neither of us really knows anything fine and good, but this man thinks he knows something when he does not, whereas I, as I do not know anything, do not think I do either." - Plato, Apology
2. Active Listening
Listening should always be active, right? You would think that if you care enough to listen, you would care enough to listen actively. Unfortunately that is not the case. When you find someone who listens actively, not just hearing the words , but also asking questions and attempting to understand the many possible meanings of what is said and unsaid. Someone who is worth dating, building a life with, they will want to understand you and what you say.
"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."
— Stephen R. Covey
3. Gentle Honesty
So many people think that being honest requires being brutal. They are incorrect. Or dishonest. The point of honesty is not to wound. The point of honesty is to tell the truth. If you find someone who can tell you the truth, even when it is hard, while still remaining gentle? You've found someone who cares about the impact of how they say things. It is hard to find, but so worthwhile.
"A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent."
— William Blake
What are some green flags you have experienced? What do you look for in a partner?